You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
