Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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