nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
