Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
