I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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