i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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