Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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