A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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