drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
