are you still at the devil's house?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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