do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
