What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
