this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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