My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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