my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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