the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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