i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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