As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
