you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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