Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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