Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize