you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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