I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
