Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
