It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Come share oat with me in your robe
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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