At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize