puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
