everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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