Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
