i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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