I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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