I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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