I'm gonna have a badass scar
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I FOUND THE LEGS
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
