Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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