we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
