I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
