In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
