So drunk, too bad you don't want this
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
