There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
