I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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