Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we made out on top of his cat.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
