Yo dont text me then not text me
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
