I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
