I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
