She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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