I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
