You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
