Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
