with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
is it fun? or sober?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
