just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
