I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You are a genius and a whore.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
