We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize