im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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