i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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