eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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