about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
