Define "chronic" masturbator.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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