you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
