Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
