i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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